homeland security

Just got back from across the pond. In trying to decide on something to bring home to my dad, I found a huge length of salami that I knew he would love and packed it deep in my suitcase, stuffed inside a shoe. After I had plunked down some very costly Euros, my friend said, “you know you can’t bring that back into the states”. In previous travels, that comment would have made me ask for my money back, but this time, I said “f-it” and took my chances.

I called dad several times and even told him I was “smuggling” something good back home to him for father’s day. He told me not to get in trouble and I said, for what? a hunk of meat? I had visions of customs agents stopping me for the salami, and then becoming defiant, yelling at them “well what the heck are you going to do with me, toss me into Guantanamo for a fucking salami?”

So salami reckoning day arrives and the flight coming back into the country was late. There were a lot of stressed out travelers trying to get back home, coupled with an undermanned customs queue resulting in the two agents breezing through all the tired and weary. I found there was a lot less going through travelers bags than last time I was out the country. Maybe it was because it was the weekend. Regardless, my point is that homeland security has not extended itself into every nook and cranny of the world or else they would have noticed when I said “smuggle” over the phone and jumped on my salami, taken it from me, and then busted it open in the lunchroom for their next break. Yeah right. Ha ha. May they all choke on “stolen” edibles.

Nice to return and see the same old, same old in the gret state. Awaiting the decision by PBJ on whether he will veto the lege raise. If he doesn’t then the cries for his head will be deafening. Me, I could care less – if they can get the money, more power to ’em…


~ by maringouin on Tuesday, June 17, 2008.

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